KRLI

KRLI http://krli.net 103.9 FM Fri, 18 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Friday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/ol30o3oGd64/friday-show-features_18.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/ol30o3oGd64/friday-show-features_18.html#comments Fri, 18 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=74d61fe41b47b234666347e190bebb9b Rich's Joke Of The Day:

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A migratory bird has caused alarm in Turkey - after villagers mistook it for an Israeli spy. Suspicions were aroused when the bird, a common European bee-eater, was found dead in a field with a metal ring around its leg stamped 'Israel'. They called the police after deciding its nostrils were unusually large and may have carried a microchip fitted by Israeli intelligence for spying. But the bird's corpse was eventually taken to government experts for examination and declared safe.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Seattle police are scratching their heads about this one. A car prowler shattered a window of a parked Jeep, stole nothing and left behind a little something for the car's owner - a dozen tortillas scattered across the floor.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
British doctors who delivered a baby via water birth said the 12-pound, 6-ounce girl set a record for the hospital. Doctors at North Manchester General Hospital said Bethany Jane Turner is the country's third-largest baby girl to be delivered via natural birth and the largest ever born at the hospital. Doctors said the average weight for a newborn girl is 7 pounds, 4 ounces. After the birth the mother was reported to have said: "I'm glad that is over!"]]> http://krli.net/friday-show-features-25/feed/ 0 Thursday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/RFKrE2_v3-Q/thursday-show-features_17.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/RFKrE2_v3-Q/thursday-show-features_17.html#comments Thu, 17 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=4ea877c354841ad00d79ffa25cde7906 Rich's Joke Of The Day:

Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case.

"Look," said one to the other, "let's be honest with each other."

"Okay, you first," replied the other.

That was the end of the discussion.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A New York man said he is trying to raise funds online after spending more than $60,000 on a legal battle to get his dog back from his ex-girlfriend. Craig Dershowitz said in court papers his ex-girlfriend "took unilateral control of Knuckles and kidnapped him" to California after they broke up. The man said he initially won a default judgment for the return of the dog, but his ex-girlfriend has now retained legal council and is fighting him in court, causing him to incur more than $60,000 in legal bills. Now he is out of money and is trying to raise more cash in his dog custody battle.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

With security in Chicago beefed for this weekend's NATO summit it was absolutely the wrong time to rob a bank. Police cornered a robbery suspect just minutes after the man held up a bank in Old Town on Monday.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
Officials say a fire alarm that went off at a Connecticut high school was activated by a student's "overabundance" of body spray in a locker room. Firefighters were called to Middletown High School shortly after 3 p.m. last Thursday. Officials said the student used an excessive amount of the scented spray and created a cloud of mist right below a heat sensor, which tripped the fire alarm. Firefighters allowed students and teachers to return to the building shortly after arriving. Officials deemed the call a "routine accidental."]]> http://krli.net/thursday-show-features-24/feed/ 0 Wednesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/pXdMFXJKKTE/wednesday-show-features_16.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/pXdMFXJKKTE/wednesday-show-features_16.html#comments Wed, 16 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=a3ad47d352819a086bd18be7c0f92dd6 Rich's Joke Of The Day:
During a robbery, one of the robbers mask slid down.
He looked at a man and asked. Did you see my face?
The man said yes! The robber shot him.
Then he asked a woman. Did you see my face?
She said no, but my husband over there did.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A US shopper is recovering after he was bitten by a rattlesnake in a superstore's garden department. Mica Craig said the snake pounced as he was shopping at the Wal-Mart store in Clarkston, Washington. He stamped on the reptile and was later treated at a hospital with anti-venom, after his hand suffered serious swelling. Mr Craig said the rattlesnake attacked as he reached down to brush away what he thought was a stick from a bag of mulch. Wal-Mart apologised, and said it was investigating how the snake had got into the store.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A Romanian father is in trouble after he was caught on camera carrying four children in the open trunk of his car on a freeway. The driver, from Cluj Napoca, Romania, was filmed by another horrified motorist who spotted the youngsters kneeling in the trunk. Police - who tracked down the car from its registration number - say the driver was arrested and fined.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
A man has returned two potted hydrangeas he stole from a Nashville park to give to his mother for Mother's Day in 1958. 72 year old Bill Teitleff said he was 18 and unable to afford a Mother's Day gift when he took the plants from Centennial Park in Nashville and sent them to his mother in Kentucky. Bill said he was glad when park officials accepted the plants and his apology. Think about it, the plants are 54 years old. Is that possible?

]]> http://krli.net/wednesday-show-features-24/feed/ 0 Tuesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/iIFwkxSQo_c/tuesday-show-features_15.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/iIFwkxSQo_c/tuesday-show-features_15.html#comments Tue, 15 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=64d43a2319ad4609879d78c28b398fb5 Rich's Joke Of The Day:
There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A pair of silk knickers said to have been owned by the Queen have been put up for sale on eBay. The undergarment, for which bids have reached more than 3,200 pounds, is embroidered with the letter E and a picture of a crown. They are purportedly being sold by the estate of a Baron. It is alleged the bloomer-style knickers, which have not been confirmed as authentic by any official sources, were left on a private aeroplane during the Queen's visit to Chile in 1968.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A German man who was caught with 49 live lizards in his luggage at Munich airport claimed the creatures were for his dinner and even offered to bite the head off one to prove it. The man was traveling back from Oman in the Middle East when customs officials discovered the lizards. The lizards are now being cared for by veterinarians in Munich. The traveler may face a fine for transporting protected animals.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Poets have been curiously silent on the subject of cheese.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
Mourners at the funeral of a 'dead' Egyptian waiter were stunned when he woke up just before the burial. The 28 year old man from from Naga al-Simmanm was declared dead after suffering a heart attack at work. But before the burial, a doctor found the man was still warm and when he checked his vital signs, found he was still breathing and revived him. The man to be buried's mother fainted at the news.]]> http://krli.net/tuesday-show-features-23/feed/ 0 Monday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/IeBXYEZTn8s/monday-show-features_14.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/IeBXYEZTn8s/monday-show-features_14.html#comments Mon, 14 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=beadaa06caf88a5424bfde5b987358d7 Rich's Joke Of The Day:
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered: "Thou shall not kill."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
One man from a suburb of Phoenix has defied astounding odds by purchasing six $1 million winning Powerball tickets. The man, who has asked to remain anonymous, used the same numbers for each ticket. The man picked up his $6 million in winnings over the course of several visits to the Arizona Lottery's headquarters in Phoenix. Arizona has had an unusually high number of winners of the Powerball $1 million second prize this year.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Fort Lauderdale, Florida said two suspects allegedly burglarizied a home while it was tented for fumigation. The thieves were only able to make off with a Microsoft Xbox, some jewelry and a few other items before police arrived and chased them away. The suspects were arrested later.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
Want a 170-year-old beer? Finnish researchers say they may be able to recreate beer from the 1840s after finding living bacteria in beer from a shipwreck near Aland islands. The ship was believed to have sunk in the 1840s and also included the world's oldest champagne considered drinkable which has since been auctioned off. Researchers analysed two bottles of beer, which they admitted "had not stood the test of time well" but the will use bacteria from it to clone the beer.]]> http://krli.net/monday-show-features-23/feed/ 0 Saturday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/VhtKq1rz3xQ/saturday-show-features_12.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/VhtKq1rz3xQ/saturday-show-features_12.html#comments Sat, 12 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=c77662a73e94d7eac3b43a46fc738fcb Rich's Joke Of The Day:

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.

“Shall we walk?” said one flea.

“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:

An inmate jailed with a Port Lucie, Florida teenager accused of killing his parents with a hammer says the teen is signing autographs behind bars and is known by nicknames including "Hammer Boy" and "Hambo." The teen has pleaded not guilty to the killings. In investigative files released by prosecutors, the informant said the teenager has enjoyed a bit of jailhouse celebrity, offering autographs exclaiming "It's hammer time." The teen also allegedly said he's seen and talked to the devil.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Texas have arrested a man who was riding a unicycle over a bridge - while naked. Police near Houston, went to investigate after getting calls from passers-by and caught the man in the act. They arrested the man who had allegedly taken off his clothes at the foot of Kemah Bridge.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
An 18-year-old man has been jailed and charged with robbery and theft after he was accused of trying to rob a suburban Dallas police headquarters. The teen is in Dallas County jail with bonds totaling $300,000 after the incident at the Wilmer Police Department. Police records show the young man walked into the police station, wearing a white towel over his hands, and told the dispatcher to hand over the station's money. Two officers were summoned to arrest him.

]]> http://krli.net/saturday-show-features-23/feed/ 0 Friday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/NukboO_suvw/friday-show-features_11.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/NukboO_suvw/friday-show-features_11.html#comments Fri, 11 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=0d19a3ea8c0a59620a1e99f52a408653 Rich's Joke Of The Day:
Maurice was known among his friends for the promptness with which he sent his ex-wife her alimony payment each month. When asked the reason for his rush, he shivered and explained, “I’m afraid that if I ever should fall behind in my payments she might decide to repossess me.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A bra containing built-in ice packs to keep women cool in the summer has been unveiled in Japan. Triumph's new Super Cool Bra features gel pads which are placed in the freezer for up to two hours before wearing. The bra is also adorned with a sprig of mint and miniature wind chime to offer a 'refreshing fragrance and sound'. Both bra cups have been designed to look like fishbowls, with the blue gel pads slipped behind a fish and seaweed pattern. They also feature a miniature fan and a tiny ladle, which can be used to splash water over the body, attached at the side.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Russia said a 16-year-old liquor store robber was temporarily flustered when the clerk demanded to see his ID. The suspect was allegedly drunk at the time of the crime. The teenager demanded cigarettes and alcohol. The teen fled and was arrested later in the day.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
A U.S. couple said they were able to average 84.1 miles per gallon on a 1,621.1 mile trip from Houston to Virginia in a Volkswagen Passat diesel. John and Helen Taylor said they used their fuel-saving techniques, which they teach to students at their schools, to make the nine-day trek on only one tank of diesel in the six-speed manual car. The car has a government rating of 31 mpg in the city, 43 on the highway. The Taylors fuel economy-saving tricks included staying about 5 mph below all posted speed limits and never falling below a minimum posted speed limit on the highway. They said they also tried their hardest to avoid idling and having to turn the ignition off and on again.

]]> http://krli.net/friday-show-features-24/feed/ 0 Thursday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/1vAqdUzkU5g/thursday-show-features_10.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/1vAqdUzkU5g/thursday-show-features_10.html#comments Thu, 10 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=d5d8bf78244ee366b7254acd73e5c1ad Rich's Joke Of The Day:

Doctor: "Mrs. Smith, your check came back."

Mrs. Smith: "That's okay. So did my arthritis!"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
An Austrian artist has created a pedal-powered version of a Ferrari supercar. With its sleek design and red paintwork, the Fahrradi Farfall FFX looks the part. But Hannes Langeder's creation is effectively a bicycle surrounded by a lightweight frame. Made from a combination of plastic and light-weight steel, it is steered using pedals which control 11 different gears. The eco-friendly car is currently on display at an automotive exhibition in Austria where it is considered road-safe.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

For the second time in a year, a motorist has been ticketed in South Carolina for displaying a replica of testicles on a vehicle. A Spartanburg County sheriff's deputy stopped a truck after noticing the display on the rear bumper. The incident report says the driver removed the display after being stopped but he was arrested for driving without a license. He was also given a warning ticket for having an obscene display.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
A single fact can spoil a good argument.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
A 13-year-old schoolgirl has set up her own company after coming up with what she claims is a cure for hiccups - a specially formulated lollipop. Mallory Kievman, from Manchester, Connecticut, says she got the idea after trying to tame a stubborn bout of hiccups two years ago. She tried every remedy she could think of, including drinking saltwater, sipping water out of an upside-down cup, eating spoonfuls of sugar, and slurping pickle juice. She eventually combined her favorite cures - lollipops, apple cider vinegar and sugar - into a single cure which she says does the trick. She has applied for a patent for her lollipop and says she has already lined up financial backers and a team of business consultants.]]> http://krli.net/thursday-show-features-23/feed/ 0 Wednesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/u7NRNnADZ9M/wednesday-show-features_09.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/u7NRNnADZ9M/wednesday-show-features_09.html#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=a37268caafe3e7fba4c4d1c82b421345 Rich's Joke Of The Day:

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

He said: “I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car.”

The salesman answered: “That’s right, sir. We will replace anything that breaks.”

The customer said: “Fine, I need a new garage door.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A concept artist triggered an Interpol murder hunt when grisly photographs she'd taken of herself posing as a corpse were sent to the police. Sigrid Fleckseder and partner Christian Thomas had taken the realistic photos showing her apparently dead on a river bank with ripped clothing as part of a project titled 'The Four Seasons of Death.' But when they handed the memory stick to a local electronics store in Vienna, Austria, the horrified staff sent them to their head office in Germany who immediately called in Interpol detectives. Detectives came to her home and figured out what was going on.
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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

An Austrian motorist had to call police to report his car had been hijacked - by a goat. Gunther Hauser had been forced to brake as he drove trough the countryside when he came face to face with the goat on a remote road. But as Mr Hauser tried to chase the goat away it doubled back, jumped into the car and refused to budge as it began eating his seats.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!
An Arkansas woman who pulled a $1 million lottery ticket from the trash said she was surprised a judge ruled she isn't entitled to the winnings. Sharon Jones, who found the ticket worth $680,000 after taxes, in the trash at a convenience store in Beebe last July, said she was shocked last week when a judge ruled in favor of Sharon Duncan, the woman who tossed the ticket after a machine at the store told her it was not a winner. Jones and her attorney plan to appeal the decision. ]]> http://krli.net/wednesday-show-features-23/feed/ 0 Tuesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/cgN6roAohdo/tuesday-show-features_08.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/cgN6roAohdo/tuesday-show-features_08.html#comments Tue, 08 May 2012 10:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=2c02f23dfbb035b78513a4db40c0afee Rich's Joke Of The Day:

When Joe stopped the bus to pick up a kid for preschool, he noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" Joe asked.

The kid said: "Yes, she's come to visit us."

"How nice," he said. "Where does she live?"

The kid said: "At the airport. Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A recent survey reveals that one-in-3 U.S. women fantasize about "making whoopie" on the Eiffel Tower. The survey also stated men prefer the White House.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Chicago police were investigating the theft of lug nuts from squad cars sitting in a police station parking lot on the city's Southwest Side. The lug nuts began disappearing about a week ago. No suspects had been identified, but officers also discovered a concrete slab in the Morgan Park District police parking lot painted with an anarchy symbol.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.

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The latest news from the Hancock News Service - odd news fair and balanced!

Boston's Chinatown has been on edge since a 57-year-old woman claimed three women used hypnosis to get her to fork over $160,000 in life savings. The victim was food shopping in Chinatown when the trio of women tapped her on the shoulder and began asking her questions. The victim says one of the suspects spoke and another handed her a plastic bag. She was told to go home and meet them several hours later on Boston Common. The victim filled the bag with a necklace, a jade bracelet, two gold rings, her passport and $160,000 in cash. She then went to the meeting spot and handed over the fortune. Authorities believe the victim was hypnotized. Two similar shakedowns have been reported since then.

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