KRLI

KRLI http://krli.net 103.9 FM Wed, 22 Feb 2012 13:17:50 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Wednesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/LuUw32y48I0/wednesday-show-features_22.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/LuUw32y48I0/wednesday-show-features_22.html#comments Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=eb7ac2c02fa2650310d35ca46a427950
"Doc!" the elderly man yelled. "I've lost my memory!"

"Calm down, sir. When did this happen?"

The man looked at him, puzzled. "When did what happen?"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Organizers of the 2012 Nude Luge World Championships in Germany said 25,000 people watched 30 lugers throw themselves down the slopes. The organizers said 17 men and 13 women slid down the mountainside in Braunlage Saturday for the fourth-annual event. The participants were required by safety rules to wear helmets, shoes and underwear, but were otherwise unclothed when they took their turns sledding.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Largo, Florida police arrested a woman who rammed her Ford Focus into the vehicle in front of her at the KFC/Taco Bell drive-through because she was angry about how long it was taking the woman in front of her to place an order.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If you really want the last word in an argument, try saying, "I guess you're right."

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
The advertisement was designed to promote foreign investment in Kosovo, but it didn't quite work out that way. Just before Kosovo declared independence in 2008, it unveiled a large statue in Pristina with the word "newborn" spelled out in large yellow letters. So the government decided to feature that work in its video advertisement. But when the ad began appearing locally on Internet some viewers said the statue appeared to be spelling the word "newporn." Blue paint that vandals had sprayed on the statue was blocking out some of its lettering. Before the ad was to be shown on CNN-TV it was redesigned and now works just fine.]]> http://krli.net/wednesday-show-features-12/feed/ 0 Tuesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/DXJAPq_R77o/tuesday-show-features_21.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/DXJAPq_R77o/tuesday-show-features_21.html#comments Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=16f9ceb033f22f47e4cff9aef670b7f6
The dentist gave his patient a lecture on the importance of proper dental hygiene. He then asked him, "Have you been flossing religiously?"

"Well," the man hedged, "I floss more often than I go to church."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A cobra that had been missing since last month after it escaped from its cage in Brownwood, Texas, was found inside the owner's home. Its owner had been jailed on an unrelated drug charge. Officers arrived to find the cobra with its head attached to a large glue trap. Animal Control arrived and took custody of the cobra and it is currently incarcerated at the Brownwood Police Department.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police were called to the Exton, Pennsylvania Walmart where a naked man was walking around the store. Police found the man in the store wearing only socks that were allegedly stolen from the store. The man allegedly would not comply with officers and they had to use a stun gun on him before taking him into custody.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
If the window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
An Austin, Texas, organization said it is working to build the world's largest ball of dog fur and has asked for donations. Texas Hearing & Service Dogs is building a ball of dog fur, named Fur-O-Sphere, that is larger than 67 pounds. The Fur-O-Sphere is a 5-foot-wide and 5-foot-tall clear ball in which dog owners will deposit their dogs' hair clippings. It will be presented to the public at the 14th annual Mighty Texas Dog Walk on April 7.]]> http://krli.net/tuesday-show-features-11/feed/ 0 Monday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/PFSqbw-88-Q/monday-show-features_20.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/PFSqbw-88-Q/monday-show-features_20.html#comments Mon, 20 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=787014b1fa3feef0461510c858543826
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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Patient: "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"
Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. "Yours is the tenth case I've treated; the others all died."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Social workers who took a toddler into care because his grandmother had been caught speeding have been ordered to hand back the child. Baby Jonas, from Lambach, Austria, was living with her mother and her partner when he was seized more than two months ago. Social workers claimed the 12-month-old child was at risk, because if it's grandmother was unable able to pay a speeding fine, she could be jailed and then couldn't help her daughter care for the youngster. But despite the family paying the fine instantly, social workers refused to hand Jonas back to his heartbroken parents.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Russian police said three armed robbers held up a St. Petersburg shop and stole what was described as an inflatable sex doll.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
One cannot have too large a party.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A Connecticut man attempting to have his 98-year-old mother evicted from her home said he wants her out of the house for her own good. 71 year old Peter Kantorowski, eldest son of Mary Kantorowski, said he wants his mother out of the Fairfield home she has occupied since 1953 because "she would be better off living with people her own age." A trial to determine whether Mary will be evicted is scheduled for March 2 in Bridgeport Superior Court.]]> http://krli.net/monday-show-features-11/feed/ 0 Saturday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/Qb86_29sycE/saturday-show-features_18.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/Qb86_29sycE/saturday-show-features_18.html#comments Sat, 18 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=3e357a2ad45280716d7b3375f3c61df5
A boss tells his new employee, "I'll give you 8 bucks an hour starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to 10 bucks an hour. So when would you like to start?"

The employee replies, "How about in 3 months?"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Nine daring couples stripped off to exchange vows in a mass naked wedding in Jamaica. Wearing only veils, body paint and plenty of sunblock, the couples were married on Negril beach. A local resort invited the couples for the all-expense paid group ceremony. The lucky few were selected from a stack of 100 applications asking a myriad of questions, including why they wanted to start their life together in the nude.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Authorities in Georgia said they arrested two women accused of trafficking in fake Nike shoes featuring an image of Michael Jordan with one too many fingers. Gwinnett County police said the women were pulled over for following too closely to another car and the officer discovered 78 boxes of counterfeit Nikes. The officer said he immediately knew the shoes were fakes because the image of Michael Jordan on the logo had too many fingers on one hand.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
The thing that takes up the least amount of time causes the most amount of trouble.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day
Fire officials in Missouri said a sweeper truck driver spent about an hour trapped inside his vehicle when it became lodged in a tree. The Crestwood Fire Department said the driver was cleaning the Crestwood Sam's Club parking lot in a sweeper truck when the truck went over a guardrail and was left dangling from a tree on a bluff overlooking Interstate 44. The driver told rescuers the accelerator on the vehicle had become stuck.]]> http://krli.net/saturday-show-features-11/feed/ 0 Friday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/QdzkLSgChIw/friday-show-features_17.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/QdzkLSgChIw/friday-show-features_17.html#comments Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=faca98d1a60a908720705bed116477ef
Bill's wife's psychiatrist just called him and said, "Did you know she was going to poison you?"
Bill said, "No! What do you suggest?"
He said, "After listening to her for three hours, my suggestion to you is to take the poison."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Workers at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas said the restaurant lived up to its name when a customer was carted away with chest pains. "Doctor" Jon Basso, the owner of the restaurant and not an actual medical doctor, said he originally thought the incident was a joke.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A homeless Florida man arrested on counterfeiting charges told investigators he used a printer to create fake $20 and $50 bills. Ocala police believe the man attempted to use a fake $20 bill at the local Dollar General store.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
He who laughs first also laughs last if nobody laughed in the middle.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A fugitive is back behind bars after he ran out of gas near Evanston, Wyoming and called the local sheriff's office for roadside assistance. The Wyoming Highway Patrol said the Prineville, Oregon man was wanted in Georgia for violating parole on a murder and escape conviction. The local sheriff did not offer roadside assistance. He did, however, arrest the fugitive.]]> http://krli.net/friday-show-features-12/feed/ 0 Thursday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/ZF35mLti9z8/thursday-show-features_16.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/ZF35mLti9z8/thursday-show-features_16.html#comments Thu, 16 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=2be77789876d04e2d6f739241069757f
A Texan is visiting Australia for the first time; He sees a sheep and starts laughing; he says to his Australian guide " At home in Texas, sheep are twice as big!" He then sees a cow and says "In Texas, our cows are much, much bigger!" And suddenly, he sees a kangaroo and asks, "What's that?" the guide answers " oh, that's just a grasshopper...”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
An Australian man who bared his buttocks to Queen Elizabeth during the monarch's visit to the country was fined $800. The court heard Liam Warriner displayed his bare buttocks with an Australian flag while running alongside the motorcade carrying the queen and the duke of Edinburgh during their Oct. 24 visit to Brisbane. Warriner said the act was a political protest.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Corpus Christi, Texas police said they arrested an 18-year-old woman who led them on a chase while wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots. Police said the woman appeared to be intoxicated.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A California woman has her gold necklace back months after she accidentally flushed it down her toilet. San Rafael sanitation district employees were performing routine cleaning work on a pipeline last month when they came across Ann Aulakh's necklace. Ann’s friend had left a message with the district after the chain was lost. Workers remembered the message and used it to trace the necklace back to Ann. A worker dropped it off at her home!]]> http://krli.net/thursday-show-features-11/feed/ 0 Wednesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/vlAV3ZfQoHo/wednesday-show-features_15.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/vlAV3ZfQoHo/wednesday-show-features_15.html#comments Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=b1d015facac0ade39390575a384306bc
"Mr. Clark, I'm afraid I have bad news," the doctor told his anxious patient. "You only have six months to live."
The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. "I can't possibly pay you in that time."
"Okay," the doctor said, "let's make it nine months."

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Brits will now be able to tone up as they eat thanks to the launch of a bizarre new cutlery set. The Eat Fit Cutlery set attaches dumbbells to a knife, fork and spoon! The hefty chrome knife and fork weigh the equivalent of a bag of sugar. And the spoon weighs twice as much!

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A woman came home Monday night and found a strange man in her apartment in South Bend, Indiana. She thought she was being robbed, but instead the man had cooked some chicken and onions in a pot, folded her clothes and swept her floor. Police arrested the intruder.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
Married couples in the UK can now get divorced within 24 hours - if they don't mind travelling to the Caribbean. The deal includes return flights to the Dominican Republic, a hotel room, lawyer and court costs. Only one person needs to travel, with the other signing over power of attorney. Adds new meaning to the term "quickie divorce."]]> http://krli.net/wednesday-show-features-11/feed/ 0 Tuesday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/UiAUgnMwt2c/tuesday-show-features_14.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/UiAUgnMwt2c/tuesday-show-features_14.html#comments Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=06efd6c127fb40488e695f4a987e32f9
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Rich's Early Morning Chuckle:

Darla had applied for a job, and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

"Pretty good, I think," replied Darla, "but if I go to work there I won't get a vacation until I'm married."

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what they told you?"

"No", replied Darla, "but right on the application it said 'vacation time may not be taken until you've had your First Anniversary.'"

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
A waste water treatment plant in Brooklyn, N.Y., says it's offering a Valentine's Day date to remember -- a tour of the plant. On the Valentine's morning tour, visitors will view the plant's egg-shaped "digesters," which break down noxious waste into sludge and gas. And for the Valentine's Day tour, every visitor will get a Hershey kiss.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A Seattle man dubbed the "piggyback bandit" has been reported jumping or trying to jump on the backs of athletes at games in five states. The Forum of Fargo, N.D., reported the man has shown up in North Dakota, Minnesota, Montana, Washington and Oregon. The man, who weighs 250 pounds, has been banned from all high school sports events in North Dakota after episodes at three schools.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
The fictional Romeo and Juliet's home town of Verona, Italy, is one of the world's top cities for marriage proposals. And this Valentine's Day is no exception. According to the online travel site Cheapflights.com, couples seem to be attracted to the Renaissance flavor of the city made famous by Shakespeare's 16th-century play. If Verona is too intimidating for nervous soon-to-be grooms, then Paris, New Orleans and London are also on the list of romantic backdrops.]]> http://krli.net/tuesday-show-features-10/feed/ 0 Monday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/UHDi0FaJ8uo/monday-show-features_13.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/UHDi0FaJ8uo/monday-show-features_13.html#comments Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=9d1d93e03b3d7dda1db9e0f8c1ed75d8
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed. “Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Chinese scientists are investigating a bizarre case in which a rooster apparently started laying eggs after all the hens were eaten. The birds owner kept the rooster together with seven hens on his small farm in central China. He said that his family had been gradually eating the chickens over winter until only the rooster was left - and he was amazed when he went into the cage the next day to discover an egg.

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

Police in Baltimore said they arrested a man accused of breaking into a woman's home, stealing her panties and sending her cellphone pictures of the underwear.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A British company said it is opening salons across England dedicated to the tattooing the scalps of bald men to make it look like they have short hair. Company Hair-Ink-Skin said it is opening facilities across England to allow men who have lost their hair to give the appearance of hair growing back using a tattooing technique applying different shades of pigment to the scalp to emulate the look of a buzz cut.]]> http://krli.net/monday-show-features-10/feed/ 0 Saturday Show Features http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/oM_zwdhfPbk/saturday-show-features_11.html http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/blogspot/qGoa/~3/oM_zwdhfPbk/saturday-show-features_11.html#comments Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:15:00 +0000 Rich Hancock http://krli.net/?guid=b7b268c8efe52e284494d6a52e0bea6d
At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked.
Next, she served some to a minister. “I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted.
Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!”

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Rich's Crazy News Story Of The Day:
Homeless people are lining up at an Austrian brothel after the owner offered them free rooms during the current cold spell. Peter Laskaris, owner of the Red Rooms Laufhaus in Vienna, has opened his door to the homeless as temperatures of minus 20 hit the city. He is offering 10 people a night a bed in his brothel for free, including a hot shower and a hot meal. But he added: "Other services are not included."

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The Wacky World of Crime With Officer Hancock's police blotter:

A woman's speeding got her a warning from an Ohio state trooper but wasn't enough to keep her grandchild from being born in her car. The woman got pulled over as she was trying to rush her daughter to a Columbus hospital. The State Highway Patrol officer told her she was going 90 mph. The trooper let them go with the warning. But the delay from the traffic stop kept them from reaching the hospital in time, so the daughter gave birth to a daughter in her mother's Hyundai.

This is Officer Hancock. Be careful. There are a lot of babies being born out there!

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Cool Tools For Radio & Advertising Professionals. Click Here!

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Rich's thought to ponder:
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

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Rich's Odd News Story Of The Day:
A judge has ordered a man accused of scuffling with his wife to take her out for a date. The man was told to buy his wife flowers and then take her out bowling and for a romantic meal. Judge John Hurley also ordered the couple, of Plantation, Florida, to visit a marriage guidance counselor. The man was charged with domestic violence after he and his wife got embroiled in a spat after he failed to wish her a happy birthday.]]> http://krli.net/saturday-show-features-10/feed/ 0